I Said I Trusted God... But I Was Still Holding the String

Hey girl......can I be honest for a second?

I used to tell God, "I trust You with my future husband." But my actions were telling a completely different story.

I would literally stop my Bible study just to answer the phone for a man I already knew I shouldn't be talking to. I would pray, "Lord, Your will be done," but secretly I would still try to make things happen on my own, thinking if i just went "outside" then maybe I would run into him. I would overthink, overanalyze, and hold on to people God was constently asking me to release.

I told God He could have it... but I was still trying to control it through my actions.

The best way I can describe it is this: it was like handing God a balloon while refusing to let go of the string. I wanted Him to lead, but only if I could still keep a little control. 

That is not trust......

Reading Genesis 16 completely changed how I saw this. God promised Sarah a son, but instead of waiting on His timing, she and Abraham tried to make the promise happen themselves through Hagar. They believed God's promise but they did not trust His process. And taking control created more pain than peace. 

Whew...  I was feeling convicted..

Friend, if you're exhausted from trying to figure everything out, maybe God is asking you to let go.

Because here's the mindset shift: Trusting God isn't giving Him the balloon. It's letting go of the string.

The freedom that comes with that kind of surrender is something I can't fully explain. You stop carrying a weight that was never yours. You stop chasing, forcing, and manipulating outcomes. You find peace knowing that what God has for you doesn't need your control and you begin to just be obedient to the things he has called you into in life. A shift that allows you to make Christ a relationship you prioritize.

This week's challenge: Ask God, "What string am I still holding onto?" Then read Genesis 16 and journal about the areas where you have been trying to help God instead of trusting Him. I promise you, surrender is losing control. It not doing busy work while the person who has real control does his job. 

 I love you girl. Remember, you got this and God got you!

- Jaida Amya